How to Make Some Bomb Ass Chocky-Chip Cookies That Your Husband Who Doesn't Even Like Chocolate Will Like

Ingredients & Preparation

Phase 1

  1. Get the cast iron skillets out of the oven and preheat it to 375 degrees.
  2. Butter: use salted Amish Rolled Butter for these cookies. You'll need to get a liquid measuring cup and put 1 cup of water in it. Then, you'll need to add slivers of butter gradually to that measuring cup until the water displaces to the level of 2 cups. Strain the water out; you now have 1 cup of softened, salted butter. Set it aside.
  3. Get a medium sized bowl and put the flour, baking soda, and salt in it. You can take a whisk or a fork and gently stir it. Set it aside.

Phase 2

  1. Get a big bowl what's gonna be for mixing inside of.
  2. Put your butter, vanilla extract, maple syrup, and sugar in it.
  3. Eggs: now get a small bowl or container near the size of something you'd eat cereal out of, and crack just an egg white into it. You can transfer the yolk back and forth between two sides of the egg shell if you've managed to crack it that way, but you'll need to discard the egg white and put only the yolk into your big bowl with the sugar in it. Once you've done that, add two large eggs with the whites and the yolks. Do whatever you want with the leftover egg white in the bowl. The dog likes it.
  4. Using a mixer, mix this gooey concotion up until it's mostly smooth. Be careful not to over-do it.

Phase 3

  1. This is the fun part: adding a little bit at a time, gently introduce your flour powder into your wet concoction. Use a medium speed and feel comfortable backing down to lower speeds if you need to.
  2. Check to see if it has lumps of flour all over in it. If it does, you probably put in too much flour at once and you'll need to try to mix it in without overdoing it.
  3. Add chocolate chips or salsa or whatever. At this point, I usually switch to a spoon to do this. I don't want to overmix.
  4. I like to use two spoons to do this, but figure out a way to get them onto the cookie sheets. Space them evenly. Or don't. It's your life.

Phase 4

  1. Bake for 9 minutes.
  2. CLEAN THE MESS YOU MADE DURING THESE NINE MINUTES.
  3. Let them cool down before you remove them from the tray; they're continuing to bake a bit, and if you remove them too early, they'll stick to the pan.
  4. Share the cookies. The cookies are meant to be shared.